Journey To The New Me: *Ring Ring Ring* "Hello? Who is this?"

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Ring Ring Ring "Hello? Who is this?"

It's FRUSTRATION that's who it is!! Did you know that estrogen is stored in fat and as you lose fat the estrogen is released back into your body making you a bit "loco"? So along with Bandster Hell I am also suffering from EEDS (extreme emotional distress syndrome - yah that's right I made that up), not only am I suffering from it - so is my poor fiance as he get's to put up with pyscho, grouchy, grumpy, bitchy, teary me everyday.

This stage of Bandster Hell is making me doubt absolutely everything. Did I make the right choice, will things really change, am I going to be able to lose weight sucessfully? I didn't cook the healthiest of meals before what makes me think I can force myself to do it now? What if I just .. fail? Plain and simple failure. Why can't my skinny demon just eat the fat demon and get it over with? Every time I think the skinny demon's about to get the upper hand the fat demon gives it a good curb stomp and sends me spiraling back into mental anguish. I panic that my first fill will do nothing for me and give me no restriction - some people take 4 or 5 fills to get restriction, I hope that's not me.

A LOT of money was invested in this little device that currently the only reason I know it's there is the scars on my tummy and the alien baby bump under my skin near my belly button (my port). I just want it to start working... before I need to have myself committed from going completely crazy.

3 comments:

Losing Jusme said...: of course you did the right thing... you said yourself you're in bandster hell.

breathe, you are doing great. when is your fill?? dont hesitate scheduling your next fill while you are getting this one. it takes more than a few for most people.

btw - can i borrow the EEDS phrase??; March 5, 2008 at 9:31 AM
Ang said...: Hey C,

Hope you are doing alright and not gettin too bored!

Thanks for the encouragement - my first fill is this coming Monday the 10th. I will definitely book my next one at that time just to be sure I get when needed. The reason I'm not getting it until the 10th now is because I waited too darn long to phone and book it.

And you most definitely can borrow the EEDS phrase. Hehe. :D; March 5, 2008 at 10:19 AM
Inspiration said...: Yeah, I have been losing a ton of fat and the hormones are raging!!! You are doing great..this is so normal. Good luck!

http://thinspiration4me.blogspot.com/; March 9, 2008 at 5:26 AM

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Weight Loss To Date

I will track my total weight loss here rather than in posts that get lost in the middle of things:

2 years: -98lbs (Jan 30, 2010)
1 year & 11 months: -90lbs (Dec 15, 2009)
1 year & 9 months: -87lbs (Oct 13, 2009)
76 weeks post-op: -78lbs
75 weeks post-op: -75.5lbs (July 7, 2009)
71 weeks post-op: -82.5 lbs :D
70 weeks post-op: -77 lbs
69 weeks post-op: -77.5 lbs (May 26, 2009)
66 weeks post-op: -81.5 lbs
65 weeks post-op: -84.5lbs (April 28, 2009)
64 weeks post-op: -82.5lbs
63 weeks post-op: -83.5lbs
62 weeks post-op: -82 lbs :(
61 weeks post-op: -86.5 lbs
60 weeks post-op: -86 lbs
59 weeks post-op: -85 lbs
58 weeks post-op: -83.5 lbs (Mar 10)
57 weeks post-op: -80 lbs!
56 weeks post-op: -78.5 lbs
55 weeks post-op: -76.5 lbs
54 weeks post-op: -75 lbs (Feb 9)
53 weeks post-op: -77.5lbs
52 weeks post-op: -77lbs 1 YEAR!
51 weeks post-op: -75lbs
50 weeks post-op: -73lbs ... WTF
49 weeks post-op: -74lbs (post Xmas, dammit)
48 weeks post-op: -77.5lbs (yay for being sick!)
47 weeks post-op: -74lbs
46 weeks post-op: -72.5lbs argh!
45 weeks post-op: -74lbs!!
44 weeks post-op: -71.5 lbs ;)
43 weeks post-op: -66.5lbs bah
42 weeks post-op: -66.5 lbs
41 weeks post-op: -62 lbs OMFG
40 weeks post-op: -68.5lbs ;)
39 weeks post-op: whoops forgot to update and now forget
38 weeks post-op: -66lbs total
37 weeks post-op: -63.5lbs total
36 weeks post-op: -62.5lbs total (not bad post vacation)
35 weeks post-op: -63lbs total
34 weeks post-op: -62lbs total!
33 weeks post-op: -61.5lbs total! :)
32 weeks post-op: -56.5lbs total
31 weeks post-op: -56.5lbs total
30 weeks post-op: -56lbs total
29 weeks post-op: -51lbs total
28 weeks post-op: -50lbs total!
27 weeks post-op: -44.5lbs total
26 weeks post-op: -40.5lbs total :(
25 weeks post-op: -43 lbs total! :-)
24 weeks post-op: -40 lbs total
23 weeks post-op: -38.5 lbs total :)
22 weeks post-op: -36.5 lbs total ARGH
21 weeks post-op: -38 lbs total. I give up.
20 weeks post-op: -39 lbs total (I feel like I am going backward)
19 weeks post-op: -39.5 lbs total
18 weeks post-op: -40 lbs total (*SNARL*)
17 weeks post-op: -40 lbs total (argh)
16 weeks post-op: -42 lbs total :)
15 weeks post-op: -36.5 lbs total (eh 2 back after 9 lost, not bad, I'm okay with that)
14 weeks post-op: -38.5 lbs total (yup, I lost 9 lbs this week!!!)
13 weeks post-op: -29.5 lbs total (yah I went up 4lbs) :*(
12 weeks post-op: -33.5 lbs total! Woohoo
11 weeks post-op: -29.5 lbs total... wtf :(
10 weeks post-op: -29.5 lbs total!
9 weeks post-op: -28 lbs total. Minus a grand total of 5.5 inches from my total measurements since surgery.
8 weeks post-op: -27 lbs total! Woo back on the band-wagon.
6 weeks post-op: -22 lbs total - yah that's right I gained 3.5 lbs
4 weeks and 2 days post-op: -25.5 lbs total!
3 weeks post-op: -22.5 lbs total (includes 5 lbs from pre-surgery diet)

Journey To The New Me

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Ring Ring Ring "Hello? Who is this?"

3 comments:

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Weight Loss To Date

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