I am failing myself and I am having a hard time turning things around. I am losing sight of everything and I am struggling to keep on track. I feel like the demon inside my head has trapped me and I can't get out. I am having such a hard time changing my habits whether it be eating properly, drinking enough water, exercising, you name it. I want more than anything to be successful with this so why is that desire and want not strong enough to set me straight? I feel like I am in a lake sinking and I can't swim to shore. I am my own worse enemy that is for certain.
You would think that having done all this would be enough, that my brain would kick start into gear, into making the change that things would just "click". But they haven't and I know that I am the responsible one, that I have to be the one to make the changes - so why, why can't I do it?
I feel like I am lost within myself trying to get out and not being able to. The "new" me wants to break free but can't.
I am so disappointed in myself.
Friday, May 23, 2008
I'm failing myself
Posted by Ang at 12:14 PM
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6 comments:
This really resonates with me right now. I too am disappointed in where I am in my journey right now. I may have come a long way, but I feel like I am backtracking, and that doesn't sit so well with me.
I think though, the best way we can look at this is one day at a time. Lets work on the next 24 hours and deal with the rest when its time. Thats what I am trying to convince myself to do, anyway.
We can do this!
Angie, you're doing GREAT. Don't beat yourself up. At least you're recognizing that you're slacking off some...no biggie..you just get back on track and keep a movin... : )
I guess it's always a journey...
OK, so I have been following your blog for a while now (saw ya on LBT) and I just have to say how much I love reading it. You are soooo real, and it seems like we tend to cycle good and bad day right around each other. That being said...LOOK AT YOU, GIRL! Your numbers are great, your face pic is beautiful, your full-body pic has changed--big time...you must be doing something right!?!?!
I think so many of us have been on diets for so long that we view our eating as good/bad, on track/off track that we forget to look at the whole "lifestyle" thang. We all need to remember that in REAL life, people fall down, but they get back up and keep walking! We might eat that *pizza-cake-icecream-cookie* today, but tomorrow, we can make a better choice, and today will be over!
Good luck sweetie--here's to us makin' better choices tomorrow!
Niki
Thanks you guys, your comments and support mean a lot.
SheSmiles, you are right one day at a time to turn it all around - I have to remember that. And we CAN do this! You are such an inspirtation to me.
Mellisa, Thanks for the encouragements :)
Niki, thanks for the support and kind words- this week I've definitely been in need.
*GROUP HUGS*
ang,
im there too and its not a pretty place.... im on day 2 of listening to my band (not my head - - i WISH they would come out with a brain band, i would be one of the first to sign up)...
take it one meal at a time .. if you have to eat 5-6 small meals so you wont get hungry, do that... make it a priority to get your water in ... "i cant do this until i've had 16 oz of water"...
you can do this, break the cycle. go back to basic bandster rules... if you think it would help, talk with your surgeon... YOU CAN DO THIS...
" i WISH they would come out with a brain band, i would be one of the first to sign up)..."
C- I am right there with you, would could get them installed together!! Hang in there girlie, you are such an inspiration, you can do this!!! :)
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